Well, specifically Troy Bolton: he of gleaming teeth, with that curious blend of athleticism and sensitivity. Yeah, he’s a jock, but he’s also a singer. He hides his sensitive side from his friends, but shares it with his love interest, Gabriella.

Why am I wittering on about High School Musical?

Simple: every time I see Troy Bolton, I’m reminded of that old Frank Zappa song, Bobby Brown Goes Down, a genius piece of music that takes the piss right out of that squeaky-clean all-American image.

Zappa starts off innocently enough:

Hey there, people, I’m bobby brown
They say I’m the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiny
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie

However, the clean-cut image quickly falls away to reveal a jaded sexual deviant and the lyrics get increasingly…er… colourful as they go along.

In fact, many of the lyrics are unprintable here. The thing is, once you’ve heard the song, it’s impossible to look at Troy Bolton in the same light again.

And while I know that Bobby Brown is the polar opposite of the High School Musical dream, that’s where the serious question comes in: is this kind of musical drama giving kids unrealistic expectations of relationships? Seriously, would you send your teenage daughter out with a guy thinking that all he wants is to share a soda and a peck on the cheek afterwards?

Go and check out the song and tell me if you see Mr Bolton in the same light! (Not recommended for kids, obviously)