It’s clearly a slow news day in Celeb-land, as The Sun and The Mirror both regurgitate Robbie Williams quotes from his visit to We Will Rock You the other night.

The Mirror reckon Robbie said he was definitely going to rejoin Take That (a dull rumour that’s been doing the rounds every month since 2005). However, while The Sun’s report agrees with this, it also says that he was dashing back to the studio to record with Mark Ronson.

Now, let’s imagine that you’ve been asked the same question for four years: “Any chance of you rejoining Take That, Rob?” Why not just nod your head and go along with it? “Yeah, yeah. Even though I’m clearly recording a solo album, I’d love nothing more than to hook up with Take That again.”

Don’t you think that he might want to wait and see how well his new album does before committing himself to Take That?

Anyway, with Mark Ronson’s brand of music hitting the overexposure point, will his ‘magic touch’ be effective in rejuvenating Robbie’s career? I don’t think so. His collaboration with the Kaiser Chiefs has sent that particular band packing with a poor-selling third album.

To be honest, I’ve kind of got used to Take That without him and I’m not exactly missing his presence in the charts. But I still have a soft spot for Robbie, and he does have to make a living. Maybe we should have a whip-round, spare him from helping tarmac roads in China again?

I’ll bet Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow are regretting ever meeting up at a football game a few weeks ago.

The tabloids are going to town on this story, today speculating that because Robbie has recently bought a mansion in the country, he’ll be needing some cash to pay the mortgage.

I mean, they’re even interpreting a comment like:

I’d like to think we’d be the only band in the history of music to get together because of artistic differences.

as a positive signal that he’s considering re-joining the band.

This is despite Gary Barlow stating that they don’t need Robbie and Robbie doesn’t need them.

I don’t want to dash the hopes of housewives everywhere, but I just don’t believe it’ll happen. Take That have proven they can be successful without Robbie. And does Robbie want or need Take That? I don’t think so.

If Robbie Williams could get his act together long enough to rejoin the boys, then he’d be just as capable of releasing a new solo album (which he’s working on). The best I think we can expect is a cameo appearance at a live TT show or a collaboration on a single.

As a matter of fact, I think all that Robbie needs is to prove that he and the other guys are on speaking terms again. I think that would restore Robbie’s reputation in the eyes of the public, clearing the way for him to resume his solo career. But maybe with some decent tunes this time round, eh?

Am I the only one who thinks that Take That should remain a four-piece at this stage of their career? Or are you still craving the classic lineup?

Some of Robbies best material was written in conjunction with Guy, think “Rock DJ”, “Feel”, “Millennium”, “Let Me Entertain You” and “Angels”, but the pair parted ways in 2002. Reports emerged that Robbie’s record company was demanding that Guy work exclusively with Robbie and no other artists.

The pair reunited last year, but have parted ways for a second time after Williams discovered that Guy was working with former bandmate, Gary Barlow on ITV drama, Britannia High.

A source told The Sun: “Robbie and Guy patched up their differences last year. They had been back in the studio trying to find the spark that produced Rob’s best material.

“They gave it a go but it didn’t work out – they had both moved on. But while they were working together in LA, Guy was asked to work as part of a team with Gary on a new TV show.

“He never mentioned it to Robbie. Rob heard Gary was in LA working and found out it was with Guy. He wasn’t best pleased when he heard.”

It’s the ultimate kick in the teeth. When it was released Robbie Williams waxed lyrical about how it was his best album yet, so I can just imagine how he felt when he heard that all the unsold copies of Rudebox (and there were a lot of them!) have been shipped to China, and will be used to resurface the roads there.

Feel free to insert your puns about Robbie being a ‘groundbreaking artist’ or ‘paving the way’ for other flop albums.

A source told The Mirror newspaper: “EMI often ships out unwanted CDs to China so they can be recycled.

“It’s the ultimate kick in the teeth for him. He loved this album, but going by all the unsold CDs he was obviously the only one.

“Now there’s no better use for them than to be crushed up and trampled on.”

I bet there are no Beautiful World albums in that shipment to China…….

Market Research

Shockingly, EMI apparently don’t do any market research before releasing an album. Do they just let the artists do their own thing and then release the end product? Well, that would explain Rudebox. As I reported yesterday, even Kylie’s album hasn’t been as popular as you might expect.

Yet on the other hand, there seems to be an attitude among the artists and their managers that EMI should be marketing their material more aggressively – Robbie’s manager Tim Clarke has been quoted as saying:

“The question is, ‘Should Robbie deliver the new album he is due to release to EMI?’ We have to say the answer is ‘No’. We have no idea how EMI will market and promote the album. They do not have anyone in the digital sphere capable of doing the job required. All we know is they are going to decimate their staff.”

The problem is, if Robbie’s next album is as much a criticial and commercial turkey as Rudebox, how much money are EMI prepared to spend pissing against the wind? If Robbie is out of touch with his fanbase (which I suspect he is), why should EMI shell out for an album that strokes Robbie’s ego and no-one else’s?

Complacency

It was saggy-faced Liverpudlian Paul McCartney who described EMI as becoming very boring: “Everybody at EMI had become a part of the furniture. I’d be a couch; Coldplay are an armchair. And Robbie Williams, I dread to think what he was.”

A statistic that shocked me was that half of EMI’s profits come from back catalogue artists like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Iron Maiden and others. Worse still, the division that manages back catalogue material is much less costly to run than the recorded music division.

When you look at the business in this way, it’s obvious that EMI needed refocussing and for some of that dead weight – both in management and in talent – needed to be stripped away.

I think Guy Hands and his Terra Firma team are going in with a mission to turn EMI’s business around. They’ve already acknowledged that there’ll be casualties along the way, 2,000 heads to be precise.

The Future?

When you consider that half of EMI’s profits come from old material, it’s be nice to think that the label would get out there and discover some acts that they can develop and who’ll have long-term appeal.

They seem cutthroat enough to ditch acts that have lost their appeal or aren’t delivering the goods anymore. And although they seem like the big bad wolf right now, I’d like to see EMI and Guy Hands become more instrumental in discovering great new talent. However, too many stories about disgruntled artists isn’t going to do their image any good.

They need to start showing where they fit in with the music industry today. I’d love to see just one major label drop the tired old cash cow acts in favour of new artists that will reinvigorate the scene.

After a couple of decades of smug swaggering, Robbie Williams has finally had to apologise to his nemesis and former Take That manager, Nigel Martin Smith.

Well, I say apologise, but a court ordered apology isn’t really a genuine apology at all, is it? Besides, Robbie didn’t actually make the apology himself, did he? No. He got a spokesman to do the dirty work on his behalf, with the following statement:

Robbie Williams wishes to make it clear to his fans, and the public at large, that he did not intend these lyrics to be taken at face value. Specifically, Robbie Williams did not intend to allege that Nigel Martin Smith has ever stolen any funds from Take That or anyone… he wishes now to apologise publicly and unreservedly for the distress that the original publication of those lyrics caused to Nigel.

I think the £500,000 quid compensation might be a more meaningful gesture to the multi-millionaire music mogul.

And in other Robbie news…

It has truly been a bad week for old Rob. Not only did he have a marginally humiliating insincere apology to issue, but his mother waded in to say that he might rejoin Take That at some point.

Nothing more embarrassing than your Mum jumping in and making career decisions for you. Especially in the national press.

Maybe it’s time Robbie took some of that humble pie at the top of the page.

Asked about their relationship with him, Jason said: “Out of all of us I was the most hopeful.” “We all know he’s got a good heart,” adds Howard. “We still love him, but we’d have to spend time with him, see what his personality’s like now.” “The door’s always open,” said Gary.

They also talked about the inclusion of Gary’s wife Dawn on the tour: “We’ve got a lot of female dancers to impress!” said Howard, who gets to dance with her. “I trust them all!” says Gary.

As for their renewed success: “It’s been unbelievable, I don’t think you can expect success like that,” said Gary. “There’s not a night goes by when we think ‘are we still here?’” admits Jason.

“It was our whole life last time,” said Gary, “but we have other lives now. There’s no question we’ve got all the control, it’s nice to be in control of your own destiny. We’re all respectful of each other – before we do anything it’s a big decision.”