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Imagine my surprise when Joss Stone appeared on our screen during the ad break for Rock Rivals. Imagine my horror when she broke into a half mumbled version of the Flake song before tucking into a chocolate bar.

Of all the ropey sponsorship deals, this one takes the biscuit. Or chocolate bar. You know what I mean.

Oh Joss, has it come to this? A promising career as the leading light of the nouveau soul movement, then an egomaniacal spiral of claiming your fans in Blighty don’t care about you anymore and a mangled British/American accent. It’s not about the music anymore, is it Joss?

How can you claim that a part time job as a choccy bar saleswoman is furthering your career as a singer?

Dear readers - check out this video with a preposterous claim from Miss Stone that she isn’t just doing a promo - it was some kind of divine intervention: “I swear to you and this is not a lie. This is not a promo thing. I had a dream about Cadburys about six months before they called.”

She finishes with another prophecy - let them say what they’re gonna say, because they’re gonna say it anyway. Yep, you’re darned right Joss. I don’t know what life’s like in cloudcuckooland, but down here in the real world everything you said in that video sounds like utter nonsense.

By the way, do you want me to pass on any messages to your credibility if I see it?