Dear Glastonbury Goers

I’m already fed up listening to the “we don’t want hip-hop at our Indie lovefest” nonsense. This is Jay-Z we’re talking about. What would you rather have, another Kaiser Chiefs/Arctic Monkeys knock-off?

Indie acts are a dime a dozen these days and far less interesting because the scene is flooded with them. But still you want a festival filled with wall-to-wall clones. How unimaginative of you.

In my very humble opinion, Jay-Z is a living legend. Okay, a living legend with a stupid name, but let’s not fall out over the details. The guy’s been charting all over the world with awesome hip-hop tracks for years – Big Pimpin’, 99 Problems, Roc Boys …the list goes on and on.

And he’s earned his rock stripes through a collaboration with Linkin Park back in 2003 (in fact, they’re rumoured to be playing together in the UK this year).

Jay-Z could be good for Glastonbury…if you let him

The fact that you absolutely refuse to accept a rapper as the headliner for Glastonbury this year speaks volumes about your musical snobbery and how little you actually care about the festival itself. Why? Because, if Jay-Z could attract a different kind of music fan, then Glastonbury opens up to a whole new audience.

Better still, there’s a chance that the Jay-Z fans who attend might have their eyes opened to a whole new world of Indie music that they might otherwise have shied away from. Everybody wins.

For my part, I’m glad Michael and Emily Eavis have taken such a bold move to diversify the line-up at Glastonbury this year, and I hope they’re not discouraged by the backlash. 

It took a whole weekend to recover from the shock – Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles? Married? And not a magazine deal or cash-in anywhere in sight?

Isn’t that fresh? Two of the biggest stars on the planet, and they shirked any kind of publicity surrounding their wedding in favour of having an intimate ceremony with close family and friends. The media reports I’m reading mention how private the two are about their relationship – hell, I don’t think they’ve ever officially confirmed a relationship!

But I think the warmest part of this story is that they didn’t try to auction off their big day. Beyonce and Jay-Z obviously know what’s important, so they had Ma and Pa Knowles, Beyonce’s sister Solange and her Destiny’s Child bandmates, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams as well as Gwyneth Paltrow.

Anyway, let’s turn our thoughts to names. Will Beyonce be taking on Jay-Z’s surname? She could become Bee-Z or he could change his name to Jay-Kno. And of course, there’s the kids – well, they could be collectively called Brat-Z. I feel a celebrity endorsement coming on after all!

Anyway, I know I’ve been critical of Beyonce in the past for being more a style over substance kind of girl, but this sounds like quite a nice celebrity romance for a change. So congratulations to Jay-Kno and Bee-Z on their wedding!

Glastonbury organisers are mixing it up this year: they’ve signed up Roc Boy Jay-Z to headline the festival instead of the usual array of dreary indie bands.

Event organiser Michael Eavis has indicated that they’re looking to attract a younger crowd this year. In comments to the BBC, he said that they want to “break with tradition this time and put on something totally different” and that Jay-Z “will appeal to the young people and under-25s for sure, so that’s a big pull for them”.

Ironically, the veteran performer this year is to be Neil Diamond, who is likely to either repel the youthful, muddy hoards or to suddenly become cool by association with the festival. I’m not quite sure which.

Anyway, details of the rest of the line-up are being closely guarded, so you’ll have absolutely no idea who you’re signing up to see. Fantastic!

If you want to go to Glastonbury this year, you need to register via their website before midnight on 14 March 2008. Tickets go on sale on 6 April, but you must have registered in advance to be able to purchase one.

This year’s Glastonbury weekend runs from 27-29 June.

Anyway, fast forward a few years, and 99 Problems hits my stereo again, courtesy of Mr Jay-Z (the similarities in their rap names aren’t lost on me!). Where Ice-T had a real old-school vibe, Jay-Z’s version employs big drums and crunchy, distorted guitar goodness.

Jay-Z’s is also much safer than Ice-T’s. For my money, Ice’s version takes the gold medal for lewdness and sheer brilliance. Whose version do you prefer?

Ice-T – 99 Problems

Just make sure your parents aren’t in the room when you listen to this one…

Jay-Z – 99 Problems

Jay-Z takes Rick Rubin for a drive round the ‘hood…