Really? Was Kanye West involved in this musical disaster, surely a shoe-in for the worst song of 2007?

Not only was Billie Jean both dated and overplayed already, but some genius decided to slow the whole thing down to the point where it feels like your mental capacity is diminishing at an alarming rate (quick, somebody speak to me at normal speed!).

Have you ever been in that stage of drunkenness where everything sounds slightly muffled and slowed down? That’s how listening to this feels. What comes next when you’re drunk is spewing the contents of your stomach into the nearest toilet bowl.

Shockingly, that’s how I felt by the time this ‘remix’ of Billie Jean had limped to the finish. So desperate for a reality check was I that I searched for the original video to compare.

I know Michael Jackson is in need of a few extra quid at the moment, but shame on Kanye for lending his name to such a dire remix. Just awful.

Here it is folks, Leon Jackson’s debut single and X Factor winner’s song for 2007.

It’s an inspiring song, reflecting that tradition of uplifting champions songs like That’s My Goal and A Moment Like This. Except that Mr Jackson isn’t remotely believable. I can’t in all good conscience call this a triumph for either Jackson or the British public’s ability to choose a new pop star.

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If you could draw a chart showing the quality of Gwen Stefani’s solo singles over time, it would start out pretty high only to end up sloping dramatically downward. And somewhere, a foot or two below the horizontal axis you’d find Now That You Got It.

When she first started doing solo stuff, Gwen was groundbreaking, quirky and fun. With this latest video, even she doesn’t seem to be convinced. She’s rehashing the same formula, but we’ve heard it all before: really dumb hooks and lyrics. She’s still trailing those damned Harajuku Girls around when they should have been dumped after the first album.

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Fresh from her comic turn in the video for Girlfriend, our Avril takes a serious turn with When You’re Gone.

Let’s talk about the video first though. It basically borrows bits from Green Day (Dude goes off to war, leaves girlfriend behind – When September Ends) and Christina Aguilera (moping around a grungy room looking thoughtful – Beautiful).

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Wow, it finally happened. Rap has sunk to such an all-time low that the artists themeselves admit to being crap and that people will buy their ’shit’ regardless….

Mims – a rapper I’d never heard of before today – sets this out quite clearly at the beginning of his single, This Is Why I’m Hot:
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The prospect of pure pop Girls Aloud ‘versus’ the more urban Sugababes was quite exciting in an eye candy alert kind of way. But the choice of Aerosmith and Run DMCs Walk This Way was ultimate sacrilige.

On their own, Girls Aloud and Sugababes are class acts and have both managed to pull off fantastic cover versions in the past.

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