Is anyone else getting a little bit bored of Beyonce’s idea of feminism?

I mean, “if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it”??? What the hell? I’m not bashing marriage, but the notion that if you want to keep your woman, you have to buy her a big-ass ring is a bit of a fallacy.

And anyway, isn’t it a bit presumptuous to assume that a woman can be bought anyway? And what if she isn’t worth putting a ring on? Lyrically, this song is utter garbage, and no amount of flashing your gusset around in the video is going to change that, Beyonce.

As a tune, there’s no denying that Single Ladies is top notch. That thumping beat, and great harmonies mean it stands up among the best of Beyonce’s songs. Unfortunately, the message it sends out is as hopelessly vapid as the worst of her work. Girls are brilliant, men are just dogs.

I’m sorry, but this song makes me angry every time I hear it (and bear in mind it’s on constant rotation on the music channels at the moment). Mrs Jay-Z is sending a message to young women everywhere that even if you’re being treated brilliantly by your other half, even if they enrich your life in countless ways, if you haven’t got a ring on your finger, it’s all worthless.

What a twat.

If I Were A Boy is not a song about penis-envy. As an independent woman, apparently Beyoncé doesn’t suffer from that affliction.

Wise-cracks aside, this single will blow you away. It is not what you’d expect from Beyoncé Knowles. Gone (for the moment?) are the tired R&B routines I was complaining about when I reviewed Green Light a year ago. Instead, I would say that If I Were A Boy is the most conventional song she’s ever released.

What’s the song about, I hear you ask. Well, it’s about a girl imagining how she would behave toward women if she ‘were a boy’. Get it? Lyrically, it’s a tad sanctimonious, because Beyoncé clearly doesn’t understand the male psyche, assuming that she’d still behave like a a girl while encumbered with man-parts. She just doesn’t understand our struggle, fellas!

All the same, the vocals are stripped down, raw but impassioned. Being a ballad, it doesn’t rewrite the rules, but it showcases Beyoncé’s voice and will remind you just how good a singer she really is. Think back to Emotions by Destiny’s Child or Irreplaceable.

The armchair critic who sits beside me every day didn’t warm to the song. However, we’re both agreed that it’ll likely be a grower, and another huge hit for Mrs Z. Without an official video just yet, we’re forced to focus on the music alone, which is very listenable, tender and not the usual T&A fodder we’re used to getting from Beyoncé.

Bonus: Check out this version by BC Jean, said to be the original version! Who’s the better singer?

It took a whole weekend to recover from the shock – Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles? Married? And not a magazine deal or cash-in anywhere in sight?

Isn’t that fresh? Two of the biggest stars on the planet, and they shirked any kind of publicity surrounding their wedding in favour of having an intimate ceremony with close family and friends. The media reports I’m reading mention how private the two are about their relationship – hell, I don’t think they’ve ever officially confirmed a relationship!

But I think the warmest part of this story is that they didn’t try to auction off their big day. Beyonce and Jay-Z obviously know what’s important, so they had Ma and Pa Knowles, Beyonce’s sister Solange and her Destiny’s Child bandmates, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams as well as Gwyneth Paltrow.

Anyway, let’s turn our thoughts to names. Will Beyonce be taking on Jay-Z’s surname? She could become Bee-Z or he could change his name to Jay-Kno. And of course, there’s the kids – well, they could be collectively called Brat-Z. I feel a celebrity endorsement coming on after all!

Anyway, I know I’ve been critical of Beyonce in the past for being more a style over substance kind of girl, but this sounds like quite a nice celebrity romance for a change. So congratulations to Jay-Kno and Bee-Z on their wedding!

They fought off stiff competition from The Manic Street Preachers who took the number two spot with Your Love Alone Is Not Enough, a duet with The Cardigans singer Nina Persson.

The highest new entry in the singles chart came from new US rock band Hellogoodbye at number 10 with Here (In Your Arms). 

Anyhoo, you don’t pair up these particular singers without having one hell of a hot track to play, and Beautiful Liar is red hot! You’ve got a smouldering Eastern-influenced track which opens with one or the other panting some lyrics.

Beautiful Liar is going to be all over the radio in the next few days like a rash, so get ready for the onslaught. As usual, the eye candy element is not lost on me. There are others who feel the same way:

Beyonce’s been trying her damnedest to look Latina for quite some time now. A few years back I turned on Saturday Night Live and thought I was looking at Jennifer Lopez. She’s been Beyonce K. Starr ever since. In this video, I can’t even always tell who’s Shakira and who’s not… until they start moving.

Final thought: I can’t remember Beyonce collaborating with a female artist in her post-Destiny’s Child career, so this is a notable event! Anyway, with its hypnotic beat and diva-grade singers, Beautiful Liar definitely earns the rank of Stripper Music! Congratulations girls!

I’m not afraid to admit that I was an early fan of Destiny’s Child. There was always something aluring about their ‘independent woman’ attitude, infectious tunes and skimpy clothes. Beyonce could kick my ass to the curb any day of the week…

That all changed when Beyonce seemed to become a parody of her sexy self and turned into a loathsome clothes horse as displayed on the pages of Heat magazine every week. Then came the gangsta’s moll phase, when she hooked up with Jay-Z. The girlie Beyonce was replaced by a horrible soft porn version. Not nice.

With the release of Irreplacable, Beyonce seems to have gone back to her roots. And a welcome return it is.

The instrumentation is stripped right back: basically just guitar and a simple drumbeat carrying the tune. A very simple verse/chorus arrangement is enhanced by Beyonce’s most honest vocal performance in recent memory. Beautiful melody in the verses and a chorus so catchy it’ll take a lobotomy to stop you singing it.

Subject matter is a return to Independent Women and Bills, Bills, Bills territory – very much woman on top type of thing.

The video for Irreplaceable carries on the ’stripped down’ theme – Beyonce looking her most natural in ages. The storyline reminds me slightly of the Emotion single Destiny’s Child release a couple of years ago. There’s a little bit of posturing by Ms Knowles, enough to keep the lads happy without being as OTT as her other recent singles.

You mus’ not know ’bout a-me, you mus’ not know ’bout a-me….(contributed by Levee)