New Madonna Album Named: ‘Hard Candy’

Apparently the public still cares about Madonna releasing a new album. Strange. After the lycra gusset-stretching of the last album and its videos, you’d think the world would want to wait a couple of years longer.

But there you go.

So, [sound of fanfare] the new Madonna album will be called Hard Candy. In fairness, the gap-toothed one has collaborated with some big names one this one, including Pharrell Williams, Kanye West, Timbaland and Justin Timberlake. All of whom are awesome hitmakers.

Questions abound. As Madonna becomes an elder stateswoman of pop music, can these young hip-hop stars create an album that works for her? I don’t think Madonna’s ever done anything resembling hip-hop before, and I can’t imagine her settling for bimbo parts a la Nicole Scherzinger?

And haven’t we stopped using Pharrell? Yeah, he was hot shit a couple of years ago, but since the awesome Fly Or Die album, I get the feeling he’s peaked.

I have respectfully avoided the obvious double entendres around Hard Candy. Hope you all appreciate it. The truth is, I’m still having weekly therapy sessions to get over the sight of that stretch. Please God, make her cover up this time round!!!

Oh, the release date for Hard Candy is slated for 28th April this year.

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