Imagine my surprise when Joss Stone appeared on our screen during the ad break for Rock Rivals. Imagine my horror when she broke into a half mumbled version of the Flake song before tucking into a chocolate bar.
Of all the ropey sponsorship deals, this one takes the biscuit. Or chocolate bar. You know what I mean.
Oh Joss, has it come to this? A promising career as the leading light of the nouveau soul movement, then an egomaniacal spiral of claiming your fans in Blighty don’t care about you anymore and a mangled British/American accent. It’s not about the music anymore, is it Joss?
How can you claim that a part time job as a choccy bar saleswoman is furthering your career as a singer?
Dear readers - check out this video with a preposterous claim from Miss Stone that she isn’t just doing a promo - it was some kind of divine intervention: “I swear to you and this is not a lie. This is not a promo thing. I had a dream about Cadburys about six months before they called.”
She finishes with another prophecy - let them say what they’re gonna say, because they’re gonna say it anyway. Yep, you’re darned right Joss. I don’t know what life’s like in cloudcuckooland, but down here in the real world everything you said in that video sounds like utter nonsense.
By the way, do you want me to pass on any messages to your credibility if I see it?
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I too caught the advert last night.Worse than I had previously imagined and now puts Ms Stone in the same ’sell your soul’ category as Anthea Turner (quite a drop down the league table). If she’s taking any advice then it’s clearly the wrong advice.
Well, she’s sexier than the last musician to advertise chocolate, but that’s not saying much, it was a drumming gorilla.
Well, I loved it. I found it quite genuine. The studio she is in is the BBC’s Maida Vale 3, which incidentally was the studio in which Bing Crosby recorded his last ever session!
Oh, please! She’s selling chocolate! I’m so disappointed in Joss right now - this was a catastrophic career move for her. She’ll be seeing the ripples of this for years.
They should have put her in the Maida Vale studios just before it is bulldozed and turned into flats in a few years. I’d like to see her covered in bricks.
Why wouldn’t she sing in a lame phoney American accent like she always does?
I can’t stand any of these fat white women who get so much credit for sounding black. There must be 5 or 10 black Joss Stones out there. I know where I’d shove her flake.
I’m still wondering what she’s on about when she says Chack-lit.
Oh, it’s “Chack-lit”…? I thought it was “…flakiest Chick Lit..” maybe referring to a poor Helen Fielding novel… or maybe “Chaaaaaaahklaaaht” - the famous warrior cry of the Arabian Berzerkers… but just like Cadbury’s vegolate, the ad is sickly, greasy and fake.
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