This week’s top ten is dominated by female artists - Rihanna, Gabriella Cilmi, Sara Barielles, Duffy and…Jordin Sparks?

Yeah, it seems like there’s still life in Miss Sparks’ career after all.

Better yet, we have the return of Ne-Yo and his more youthful counterpart, Chris Brown. Brown makes a double appearance in the top ten with Forever and duetting with Jordin Sparks on No Air.

1. Coldplay - Viva La Vida: Another shovelful of audio pleasure from Coldplay, proving that Violet Hill wasn’t a one-off. A deserving number 1 this week.
2. Ne-Yo - Closer: A leading member of the Axis of R&B Evil,, Ne-Yo releases yet another boring and predictable chick-focussed tune. Which is selling by the barrow-load. It figures.
3. Rihanna - Take A Bow: Not hearing this one much at the moment. We might be massive Rihanna fans, but not so much of her slower songs.
4. Sara Barielles - Love Song: On the contrary, Sara’s love song is just about everywhere at the moment.
5. Chris Brown - Forever: Anyone heard this one yet?
6. Gabriella Cilmi - Sweet About Me: Such a good song, slightly obscured by the female-heavy chart this week. Just don’t underestimate the smoky vocal and sexy, old-school track.
7. The Ting Tings - That’s Not My Name: They call her Hell, they also call her Stacey. But we know better, don’t we readers?
8. Mint Royale - Singin In The Rain: Dear record industry, if a kids wins a reality TV show on the basis of a ton of hormonal girlies voting for him, those same girlies will spend a fortune on the track that he danced to. Idiots.
9. Duffy - Warwick Avenue: In a bizarre twist of fate, Warwick Avenue is so good that it even makes us warm to Mercy when I hear it on the radio. The ‘welsh warbler’ might just be winning us over.
10. Jordin Sparks - No Air: Again, Jordin Sparks has been off Unreality Music’s radar since her debut. Is this any good? You tell us.

And I could have picked some tunes out on YouTube, but I’ve come to the conclusion that YouTube actually degrades the listening experience and makes videos virtually unwatchable. It’s just poor quality all round. Better to switch on the music channels at home and crank up the volume!

1. Rihanna - Take A Bow: The pop princess returns with a slower track that sticks the knife in a former lover. In a musical sense - I doubt Rihanna’s had her heart broken before ;)
2. The Ting Tings - That’s Not My Name: Catchiest tune of the moment, this is the album that will launch the Ting Tings into the limelight.
3. Madonna ft Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes: Because Timbaland is the brains behind this release, it’ll linger in the charts for easily the next decade.
4. Will.I.Am ft Cheryl Cole - Heartbreaker: Still smooth, Will.I.Am has regained respect with this mix of R&B and the sexiest female in British pop at the moment.
5. Sam Sparro - Black & Gold: No comment.
6. Wiley - Wearing My Rolex: Still class. I wonder if there’s a new grime movement waiting in the wings ready to take over the charts?
7. Duffy - Warwick Avenue: The Duffster comes over all Katie Melua on us, and pulls off a silky smooth tune that far outshines Mercy.
8. Usher ft Young Jeezy - Love In This Club: The word ‘anthemic’ can’t be used enough to describe this song. Epic R&B track.
9. September - Cry For You: Lightweight dance track not worth commenting on really.
10. Coldplay - Violet Hill: Chris Martin and his comrades pull off a minor miracle - convincing me that they’re a good band after all. Excellent tune.

Rihanna has revealed on GMTV how much she’s enjoyed teaming up with Maroon 5 on their next single, If I Never See Your Face Again.

Speaking to GMTV’s Carla Romano in LA, the Good Girl Gone Bad said that working alongside the pop rockers was “Awesome for me”.

She went on to heap praise on the lads, saying: “Maroon 5 are one of my favourite bands and when they approached me to do this record, I was like, ‘Any song – I don’t care if it’s a song that I don’t like - I want to do it because Maroon 5 is dope’. But fortunately I love this song – I think it’s a smash.”

Maroon 5 frontman, Adam Levine, said there was such chemistry on set he found it hard to concentrate. “Well I always find it hard to concentrate - so she doesn’t make it any easier.”

Adam continued to rain compliments on the Umbrella star, revealing just why he wanted to work with her: “She’s obviously beautiful and talented and amazing, and I just thought, ‘Hey, there’s really no better choice.’”

“Yeah, we do have chemistry,” he continued. “You don’t really know until you show up and do the video. So the fact that it worked out today is incredible because you can also…it can go the opposite direction. So thank god we did have chemistry.”

The chemistry was also felt by Rihanna who, when asked to describe Adam in one word, said “Hot”.

…in this post, I crawl back out of the woodwork and apologise for the unforgivable gaps in posting to Unreality Music…

Feeling sheepish folks, because I lost the thrill of new music there for a little while, despite a passable enough Top 40. So, now I’m back, and we’re all friends again, here’s my take on the latest UK pop chart:

1. Ting Tings - That’s Not My Name: The Ting Tings, hotly tipped for big successes this year have scored a #1 with their second single, knocking the venerable Madonna from the spot. Uber annoying, but dead catchy, this was a cert to get #1.
2. Rihanna - Take A Bow: Little Miss Rihanna comes up with a song (and video) that could be a perfect sequel to Beyonce’s Irreplacable. Yes, she’s kicking asses to curbs and all that sort of thing.
3. Madonna ft Justin - 4 Minutes: Does anyone else get this mixed up with So Solid Crew’s 21 Seconds? I do. I’d love to hear some kind of mash-up of the two.
4. Will.I.Am ft Cheryl Cole - Heartbreaker: Even though this got a positive review, we had no idea it would still be in the Top 10 after all this time. It’s lifted Will.I.Am’s solo career in the UK and possibly propelled Mrs Cole into a position where she no longer needs Girls Aloud.
5. Wiley - Wearing My Rolex: Still lovin’ this song - it’s so perfectly sleazy and well…grimey. Try singing it in a northern accent though - it’ll take on a whole new complexion.
6. Sam Sparro - Black & Gold: It is written that sometimes a shitty song will enter the charts and stay there for a long time. This is such a track, and it fills me with venom every time the radio  plays it.
7. Usher ft Young Jeezy - Love In This Club: After years of trying, Usher finally makes it on to Unreality Music’s Christmas Card list with this excellent R&B anthem. Love it.
8. Coldplay - Violet Hill: After years of trying, Chris and Gwyneth make it onto Unreality Music’s Christmas Card list with this bluesy change in musical direction. Now stop naming your kids after fruit and we can maybe do lunch luvvies.
9. Estelle ft Kanye West - American Boy: You know my feelings on this one. Just f-flippin’ brilliant. Anyone know what Estelle says just before Kanye’s second rap comes in?
10. September - Cry For You: Equal to Sam Sparro for being awful. The musical equivalent of some DJ eating a collection of records from the 80’s and vomiting up the worst bits.

Anyone else finding it hard to get excited about music at the moment? For every decent track out there, there’s a moment of utter dirge. For every American Boy, there’s a Heartbeat.

One song I’m loving at the moment is Daddy-O by Wideboys and Shaznay Lewis. It’s a frantic dance track with Shaznay at her most annoyingly catchy - she really was the best thing in All Saints.

As for this week’s chart, it’s a hit and miss affair, so let’s get it started:

1. Madonna ft Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes: This has grown on me in a big way. While I absolutely can’t stand the sight of Madonna, most of this is Timbaland and JT working their usual magic with an old lady in tow.
2. Sam Sparro - Black & Gold: An irrational wave of hatred comes over me every time I hear this rubbish song. Stop trying to bring the 80’s back, Sam.
3. Estelle ft Kanye West - American Boy: This little number’s in the running for track of the year. I’m still loving Kanye’s rap toward the end, and full praise for working ‘Ribena’ into the lyrics of a song.
4. Wiley - Wearing My Rolex: This. Is. Genius. Been hearing it non-stop on the radio for the last week or so. Love the guy’s voice on the track, so deadpan.
5. September - Cry For You: Painful dance track borrowing the best bits of some Eurythmics song from 20 years ago with some cut-and-paste babe lip synching the vocals. Urgh.
6. Flo Rida ft T-Pain - Low: Switch off brain. Enjoy. Proof that songs don’t need to have intelligent lyrics to be good. Like we didn’t already know that!
7. Usher ft Young Jeezy - Love In This Club: I don’t like Usher. He peddles low-grade R&B designed to get in women’s pants. If you can’t do it with METAL, then you should probably quit. On a positive note, this isn’t a bad song, although the name Young Jeezy seems to creep most people out. Suggest you change it, Jeezy.
8. Will.I.Am ft Cheryl Cole - Heartbreaker: One of my favourite tracks at the moment. Will.I.Am keeps it low key on this lil’ R&B number, and it works well for him. Check out Cheryl’s dancing on the video - you’d really think she came from the streets. Seriously ;)
9. Duffy - Mercy: Let’s put this track behind us, Duffy, and concentrate on your new single. Were you listening to Katie Melua a lot when you recorded it?
10. Scouting For Girls - Heartbeat: You know how I feel about this band. Put it this way, they’re no friends of good music. When the revolution comes, THEY’RE MINE!!! [insert maniacal laughter]

Well, there ya go, pop fans. Another chart over.

I must apologise for the overuse of BLOCK CAPITALS in this post. That’s what happens when your erstwhile music blogger doesn’t have any breakfast in the morning. Bad tempered by the afternoon.

Anyway, share your thought on the chart in the comments below. And any hot tips for next week’s top ten…

Alright, we’ve got a lot of big names in this week’s chart - Madonna, Kanye, Mariah, Leona and Chris Brown. Not much movement among the established artists, and we’ve got one bizarre addition to the chart in the guise of September.

That’s right, a month of the year has released a single. The world’s gone mad!

1. Estelle ft Kanye West - American Boy: Four weeks, but Estelle’s been winding up the press by claiming that soul music’s exclusively black and making other snarky remarks that prove you can be a bit of an arse and still write hit singles. Diva behaviour of the worst kind - I’m going to have to deduct points from Estelle for that.
2. Sam Sparro - Black & Gold: This is some kind of bizarre 80’s retro nonsense, isn’t it? Was it an April Fools joke by the music industry? I’m not warming to it.
3. Flo Rida ft T-Pain - Low: Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low. Lather, rinse and repeat until your brain goes numb.
4. Madonna ft Justin Timberlake: Considering that Madonna is only one third of the talent on this track and that it owes more to Timbaland than to the ever-changing Material Girl, I’ll grudgingly admit that the chorus has been stuck in my head for the last week.
5. Mariah Carey - Touch My Body: Although she proved this week that she can still shatter glass with her amazing voice, this single is typical of the half-assed hip-hop that Carey’s been churning out for the last few years as she hacks away at her own musical relevance.
6. Duffy - Mercy: Not as bad as I originally thought, but nowhere near as good as to be a serious threat to Amy Winehouse, who continues to be the single biggest threat to her own career.
7. Kooks - Always Where I Need To Be: Vacuous, but pleasant Indie hum-along tune with heavier than expected guitar lines. These guys could really rock if they ditched the Indie by numbers routine.
8. Leona Lewis - Better In Time: Still can’t get over how beautiful and natural Leona looks in the video for this. Good song, but not quite as remarkable as Bleeding Love.
9. September - Cry For You: Is that a refreshing revamp of a Eurythmics song? With a hot babe in the video? Sweet.
10. Chris Brown - With You: With You didn’t quite make the splash I expected it to - this could’ve/should’ve been a number one single given the production talent behind it and Brown’s appeal to teenage girls.

…and Estelle has the #1 position locked down for the third week in a row! American Boy is a pretty deserving Number 1 anyway, especially when you consider that only other worthwhile single - Chris Brown’s With You - seems to be sliding down the chart at the moment.

Let’s have a look at this week’s top ten singles…

1. Estelle ft Kanye West - American Boy: Enough raving about the song - does Estelle’s dancing weird anyone else out? It’s slightly awkward and unsettling.
2. Flo Rida ft T-Pain - Low: I’ve run out of things to say about this song - moronic in the extreme, but still fun to shout along to.
3. Kooks - Always Where I Need To Be: The Kooks are back with their patent pending upbeat indie-rock. It sounds like more of the same, but since their formula was pretty good in the first place, that’s not a bad thing.
4. Sam Sparro - Black & Gold: I asked last week who Sam Sparro is. And I still don’t know this week.
5. Duffy - Mercy: A small but ‘merciful’ drop in chart position for Duffy. No ill-will toward the girl, but can we have a new single that isn’t quite so derivative next time?
6. Mariah Carey - Touch My Body: Once she had a Vision Of Love, now all she wants us to do is touch her body. I think I preferred the 1990 version of Mariah to the present-day tarty diva.
7. Leona Lewis - Better In Time: And speaking of divas, here’s a classy one. Ms Lewis, I hope your career extends long beyond that shiny-faced mutant Carey and her awful performing boobs.
8. Madonna ft Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes: You can’t watch the video on YouTube, which is a major faux pas in this day and age. Why are so many old-school artists afraid of the Internet?
9. Chris Brown - With You: Cool song. And with such a strong hook I was convinced I’d heard it before. An instant classic?
10. Nickelback - Rockstar: This song is the musical equivalent of chewing gum stuck to your shoe - you can’t scrape it off the charts no matter how hard you try.

Whew. Strangest pop-related thing that happened me this week was Denial by the Sugababes came on the radio and I liked it before I realised what I was listening to. Guess that blows smoke all over my review!

Not a bad top ten this week. Most of the songs are actually listenable, even the Madonna/Justin Timberlake collaboration. Having said that, when two major stars release a single backed by Timbaland, surely the end result should be 10x more stunning than this?

1. Estelle ft Kanye West - American Boy: Just. Purrrfect. Second week at #1 for this trans-Atlantic collaboration.
2. Flo Rida ft T-Pain - Low: I want to call this music for morons, but in the same vein of Soulja Boy, this rap track has one of those irresistible shout-along choruses that doesn’t require any sense of melody. A guilty pleasure.
3. Duffy - Mercy: I have been exposed to the video for Mercy so many times this week, it’s like being subjected to cruel and unusual torture. But could it be that I’m warming to Duffy this late in the game? Well, no actually.
4. Sam Sparro - Black & Gold: “Who is this Sam Sparro?” I hear you ask. I don’t know, I’ll find out for you before the end of the week.
5. Madonna ft Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes: Not a bad track, but absolutely scandalous that there’s no video for this on YouTube yet!!! And these people call themselves professionals. They’re probably waiting for an exclusive premiere on the ‘wireless’.
6. Leona Lewis - Better In Time: “It’s been the lawwwngest Win-der wit’out choo” Sing, Leona. Sing your bloody/bleeding heart out!
7. Nickelback - Rockstar: “Kroeger. This is the police, we have you and your band surrounded. Step away from the charts and nobody gets hurt.” A slow but welcome retreat from the top ten is now in progress.
8. Chris Brown - With You: I haven’t listened to it yet. Is it highly slick, Usher-esque R&B designed to lure the ladies in with empty promises of undying love? [one quick listen later] I was wrong about the Usher thing - nice use of acoustic guitar, and a very nice chorus. All is forgiven Chris. Still want to castrate Usher though.
9. OneRepublic - Stop And Stare: I’m watching OneRepublic carefully at the minute. This is a band that could release some very polished rock music. Or they could become very boring very quickly. Which will it be?
10. Alphabeat - Fascination: The happiest band in the Northern hemisphere are back in the top ten. Brilliant. I could do with a couple more weeks of this song.

Was Duffy’s caterwauling driving you up the walls too? Thankfully, Estelle has knocked her off the #1 spot this week, with a little help from her friend, Mr West. Just another reason to love Kanye.

In other news, the big names are still holding steady in the chart - Leona, OneRepublic, Nickelback. Alphabeat, unfortunately, slip out of the top ten this week. Darn.

1. Estelle ft Kanye West - American Boy: So good I could listen to it on a continuous loop all day long. If Estelle was a company, I’d be buying shares in her right now.
2. Duffy - Mercy: Proof that the post-Winehouse music industry is playing a pathetic game of ’stick the pin in a dead music genre and resurrect it’. They’ll never beat the beehived one.
3. Leona Lewis - Better In Time: No offense to Leona, but I’m getting bored of this one already. I don’t care if it’s for charity, I’d like to see something funky and upbeat for her next single.
4. OneRepublic - Stop And Stare: Still a audio delight. I’m not listening to your lyrics Mr Tedder, and frankly I don’t care. But the sounds that your band makes are lush.
5. Nickelback - Rockstar: Chad Kroeger, you are officially my dartboard poster child. You have brought disgrace to the name of rock. Shave your head in penance.
6. Flo Rida ft T-Pain - Low: Coming straight in from the Soulja Boy school of hip-hop for morons, you will physically feel your braincells dying as you listen to this. And don’t get me started on the ludicrous stage names.
7. Madonna ft Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes: Oh, so the grand ole granny of pop and Michael Jackson’s curly-haired offspring got together and released their much-hyped collaboration. So why hasn’t it been on the radio yet? Must dig this out and destroy it later.
8. Utah Saints - Something Good ‘08: Pardon me if I skip over this…
9. Girls Aloud - Can’t Speak French: They can’t speak French, but my favourite singing Barbie dolls can still churn out a catchy pop toon. Not their best ever, but still deserving of a top ten position.
10. H Two O ft Platnum - What’s It Gonna Be: Wow, who’d have thought this would hold out in the chart for so long? I’m impressed.

Oh, and in other news, a flock of Guillemots has been spotted hovering over the Number 20 position. Good for them!

No. I’m not doing it. You can’t make me. I am NOT regurgitating the charts from last week. I already told you I was sick of that. Let’s just chat among ourselves, eh?

Duffy’s still at number one. I hate that song. It’s exactly the opposite of Winehouse’s Rehab. In Rehab, you’ve got Amy booming out “No No No”, whereas with Mercy, you’ve got Duffy bleating “Yeah Yeah Yeah”. Let’s imagine that Duffy’s career goes in the opposite direction - she’ll do nothing interesting, then the press will totally lose interest in her.

Ah well, no career, but at least she’ll have her health.

In other news, I really like The Feeling’s new single I Thought It Was Over. Less of the awful saccharine-loaded choruses and a bit more rawk. They might actually have balls after all.

Anyway, here’s a quick run-down of the top ten sans comments this week because it’s roughly the same as last week.

1. Duffy - Mercy
2. H Two O ft Platnum - What’s It Gonna Be?
3. Nickelback - Rockstar
4. Basshunter - Now You’re Gone
5. Kylie Minogue - Wow
6. Adele - Chasing Pavements
7. Rihanna - Don’t Stop The Music
8. OneRepublic - Stop And Stare
9. David Jordan - Sun Goes Down
10. Kelly Rowland - Work