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“I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17″, sings Britney in Piece Of Me. Well, until a couple of years ago, this was true. Nowadays, she’s more of a hideous freakin’ nightmare.

No doubt the geniuses behind this ditty thought it would be funny to play on Britney’s tabloid image. But Piece Of Me reflects how far the mighty Britney has fallen.

Perhaps they didn’t know that she’d lose custody of her kids. The song was written ages ago, but released at such a bad time.

Besides, what does the lyric “and with a kid on my arm/I’m still an exceptional earner” mean? You’d never catch Will Smith describe his children as “a kid” in a song. The difference between a parent who cares and one who doesn’t?

And as for pictures of her derriere - put some bloody pants on! Stop giving the paparazzi so many gynaecological photo opportunities! I’m serious.

Grudgingly I admit that I like the tune, it’s a major improvement on the turgid grind-fest that was Gimme More. But although in the video it looks like the old Britney’s back - long blonde hair, midriff exposed - I can’t help but thinking there’s someone who’s seriously mentally ill pretending her soap-opera lifestyle is funny. I can’t help thinking that Piece Of Me is a major embarrassment for Britney.

If I was advising her, I’d have perhaps told her not to release this one. It just cements her image as a media whore.