Hi Jordin.

We just heard your new single Tattoo, and thought we’d drop you a line. We’re a bit concerned, you see.

As big fans of TV talent shows like American Idol, we’re aware of some of the heinous crimes against music that have been committed by former reality show contestants.

Tattoo is your first proper single release since you won American Idol. No offense, but it’s as bland a number as we’ve ever heard. Your producers aren’t even playing it safe with this song, they’re playing it suicidal. Bland doesn’t even cover how dull this song is.

You’d think that with a nation- and arguably world-wide audience awaiting this single, the record execs would have raised the bar and given you something special to start your career with.

When your record company allows you to release something as generic and uninteresting as this, you know that you’re part of the small picture. Famous until the next season of American Idol gets going and the audience forgets you.

It’s easy to let other people make the decisions when you’re young and star-struck. Hell, you probably think you’re just lucky to be where you are today – why rock the boat, right?

Well, you should rock the boat now, Jordin. Get some artistic control. Get some better songs. Release something memorable. Or else your music career will be consigned to bargain bins around the country before it’s even properly begun. No-one wants to see another reality show casuality. Least of all us.

All the best

The Unreality TV Team

(Update: Tattoo was confirmed as the worst selling debut single from an American Idol contestant)